A Christmas Cameltoe

Sorry sorry sorry. I am officially the worst blogger in the world. I could make excuses, but I won't. I'll just make the effort to deliver a really amusing post. This may be difficult as I'm currently watching some vintage Strictly Come Dancing on the TV channel formerly known as UKTV Gold. Apologies therefore if the word 'spangle' randomly appears.

OMG. Aled Jones is about to dance to 'Walking in the air'....

Hahahaha - there's a fat treble....singing to a samba beat.....hahahahaha....talk about a rabbit in the headlights.

Sorry. So here are some Camelford Christmas highlights:

1. Special lighting. Nick has a theory that Homebase is selling an 'exterior weather proof home lighting kit' as SO many people in the area have bedecked their halls with boughs of God knows what. It's a miracle I haven't crashed.

2. My Christmas pudding which I so lovingly made on my first weekend here. I am officially a great cook. Setting the holly sprig on fire perhaps wasn't a highlight but is worth a mention for entertainment value.

3. My Beef Wellington. Who the hell needs turkey? I am a bloody great cook.

4. Clotted cream on everything, particularly mince pies.

5. the Christmas sales in Truro. These actually are not worth a mention as they were crap. However, if you are a size 8 or a size 18, get down to the shops now. There are bargains to be had.

6.Wondering why the hell Truro City Centre smells of cow. Then working out that it's actually my car that smells of cow and in fact probably needs a wash.

7. Making plans to get a (very small) dog!

8. Getting jumped on by a mahoosive dog, which, let's face it was probably a horse. Truly terrifying - why on earth would anyone want a pet like that?

9. Riding a gorgeous horse (called Lollypop) for the first time in 5 years and not forgetting everything I had ever learned. It was even worth the slight embarassment of Lollypop zooming off to the other side of the school to play with one of her friends, who at the time was trying to have a lesson of their own. Also worth the immense pain. My God, I felt like I'd been raped by an elephant.

10. Mouse management. After a terrifying night raid on our food stores, I am delighted to be marrying a man who is a whiz with a stapler and a piece of metal gauze.

And to finish, a CLASSIC (possibly my favourite of the year) quote from our vicar. At the funeral of our darling organist, Buffy, he said:

"Nothing makes me sadder, than the sight of Nick Danks sitting at the organ bench".

Charming. But we knew what he meant.

elusiveness

hi blog followers. Huge apologies for no posts recently. My excuse is thus, in the past 7 days, I have visited:

Bath
Plymouth
London
Dartmouth
Totnes
Exeter
Swindon

I would now like to visit my own bed which I have been missing muchly (due to flu ridden boyfriend).

I'll be back....

Exercise

Before I launch into today's topic 'du jour', I would like to say thank you to everyone who has been so kind about my blog and has told me how much they enjoy reading it. I did say in the first post that I was purely doing this for my own enjoyment and that it wouldn't matter if anyone else read it. Well, honestly, knowing that people are reading and enjoying makes me want to login and write. Much more so than my own motivation. So thank peeps and keep reading.

So I just wanted to make a couple of points about exercise. I love to exercise. Ok..that is slight bollocks. I love to eat. Which means if I don't want to turn into a jabba, I need to exercise. And it helps to enjoy it.

Living in London was logistically easier than living in Cornwall when it comes to fitting in my exercise. A 20 minute walk to work and very few long journeys to exciting, far flung places (Ealing was about as far as I went - though having said that, it is generally quicker to get to Exeter from Cameltoe than it ever did from Central London to Ealing) meant that an exercise routine was easy to incorporate into everyday life.

Other factors make it difficult too. For example, I made an exploratory trip to Camelford pool only to find that there are 4 lane swimming sessions each WEEK! The rest of the time is taken up by kiddies classes, school parties and clubs. Imagine that at the Oasis? Where would those lovely gents in their speedos exert all that pent up energy with only limited opportunities for lane rage? No suggestions in the comments section please - we are all thinking it. No one needs to say it.

Something making it easier is my colleague Julie. Julie is one of those women who lines up at the start of a club organised half marathon to scare the pants off the other competitors. Slim, fit, doesn't hyperventilate up the hills and looks like a total pro in her running gear. While yours truly tries not to die, looking a bit skanky in an old 'Marlow Half Marathon t-shirt' which as regular bed time wear probably shouldn't be seen by my new colleagues.

Anyway shout out to her - she's FAB and is helping me during those first few marathon training runs where 6 miles is tiring, let alone 26 miles.

Ok that's it. And I promise not to bang on about marathon training, I know you've heard it all before.