Have just realised that my last post was rather self indulgent and didn't really really adhere to this blog's constitution (which would be 'for the purpose of reporting on life in Cameltoe through the eyes of an incoming city person). So here's my Cornwall moment of the day. BTW, it's totally true and un-made up.
Walking past a shop in Wadebridge, I was delighted to see the following sign in the window:
"Would the lady who was here on Tuesday afternoon requesting the large Golly please come in. I now have one in stock."
Saturday, 2 May 2009
musing...
So here we are at the May bank holiday weekend. I'm sad to report there was no donkey at the Palm Sunday service last month, just a rather half arsed procession around the church yard singing 'Ride on Ride on in Majesty' about four times, completely out of time with Nick who had pumped up the organ to full pelt in the vain hope that we might actually hear it and stay in time. Needless to say, we did not.
Following my amazing success at the London Marathon last weekend (no. I didn't win, but it felt like I did), I have been thinking about achievement, ambition and generally living life to the full (or 'eating life' as a good friend of mine so appropriately puts it). Most of us have appraisals and personal development plans at work, but I guess we rarely actually have these for our lives in general. Which I guess means that most of us live year to year and then look back and think bugger. What have I been doing with my life! Not me - I'm all about eating life, but just to make sure I don't miss anything, I thought I would make a things to do before I'm 30 list.
By the way, a mate of mine did this on her blog and someone dug it up and read it out at her work's leaving party. Also, I've included some things I've already done, to make me feel better about the ones I haven't done. Treat it as a fun guessing game...
Here goes, in no particular order, things I, Caroline Joanna Danks would like to have done before I hit 30:
1. Run at least one London Marathon
2. Run a marathon in less than 4 hours 30 minutes
3. Know what it feels like to weigh 10 stone (as an adult - obviously, I have weighed less than this before in my life)
4. Stand up on a surfboard, unaided and actually look cool whilst doing it
5. Sing solo at a famous person's memorial service in the presence of other famous people
6. Have a solo rectial advertised in The Times
7. Have my photo taken for Playboy
8. Marry the love of my life
9. Go to Australia
10. Get some kind of health and fitness teaching qualification
11. Jump a fence at a fast and gallopy pace (on a horse that is)
12. Run a half marathon in 1 hour 50 minutes or less
13. Buy my own flat
14. Be a bridesmaid
15. Become a godmother
16. Become a mother
17. Write a novel (regardless of whether or not its actually any good)
18. Learn to play the piano
19. Have the word 'manager' in my job title
20. Open a savings account and put something in it!
Right. That's my list done. I'm off to write my novel...
Following my amazing success at the London Marathon last weekend (no. I didn't win, but it felt like I did), I have been thinking about achievement, ambition and generally living life to the full (or 'eating life' as a good friend of mine so appropriately puts it). Most of us have appraisals and personal development plans at work, but I guess we rarely actually have these for our lives in general. Which I guess means that most of us live year to year and then look back and think bugger. What have I been doing with my life! Not me - I'm all about eating life, but just to make sure I don't miss anything, I thought I would make a things to do before I'm 30 list.
By the way, a mate of mine did this on her blog and someone dug it up and read it out at her work's leaving party. Also, I've included some things I've already done, to make me feel better about the ones I haven't done. Treat it as a fun guessing game...
Here goes, in no particular order, things I, Caroline Joanna Danks would like to have done before I hit 30:
1. Run at least one London Marathon
2. Run a marathon in less than 4 hours 30 minutes
3. Know what it feels like to weigh 10 stone (as an adult - obviously, I have weighed less than this before in my life)
4. Stand up on a surfboard, unaided and actually look cool whilst doing it
5. Sing solo at a famous person's memorial service in the presence of other famous people
6. Have a solo rectial advertised in The Times
7. Have my photo taken for Playboy
8. Marry the love of my life
9. Go to Australia
10. Get some kind of health and fitness teaching qualification
11. Jump a fence at a fast and gallopy pace (on a horse that is)
12. Run a half marathon in 1 hour 50 minutes or less
13. Buy my own flat
14. Be a bridesmaid
15. Become a godmother
16. Become a mother
17. Write a novel (regardless of whether or not its actually any good)
18. Learn to play the piano
19. Have the word 'manager' in my job title
20. Open a savings account and put something in it!
Right. That's my list done. I'm off to write my novel...
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Spring has sprung, the lambs are getting fat and there's a bloody big bird making strange parroty noises outside my kitchen window. Greetings from sunny Cameltoe on this fine Palm Sunday. The weekend (and past few weeks) in fact have been one fabulous Camelly blur. Super busy as usual. I honestly thought that by moving down here, I would have more time on my hands and I do I suppose, it's just that I like to fill that time with exciting things. Hence the busyness.
Some exciting things that have happened in my world recently:
1. I have only 1 long run to go before my marathon training is complete. Bring it on - 20 miles on Friday, here we go.
2. There are Pheasants everywhere, and they are so stupid. It's no wonder there are dead versions lying around everywhere. I felt slightly bad for one which was lying upturned in a hedge with its little legs akimbo - clearly it had bounced off someone's bonnet!
3. London people have been to visit! And how great it has been to catch up with members of the English Touring Opera cast and band and also with Cat and her family.
4. Speaking of English Touring Opera - how brilliant it is to go to the opera, sit 5 rows from the front and pay only £20 per ticket. Who needs Covent Garden?
5. My BlackBerry. Means I can work from the beach. Which means that life is sweet.
6. It is the Easter hols. So suddenly there are people everywhere. Polzeath was rammed with sloaney types yesterday wearing various nautical themed items of clothing and discussing how often they let out their big houses when they're not here. Mustn't slag off the Emmits though. I was one once (not one with a big house though).
Off to church in a mo. I'm hoping very much for a donkey (as we;re by the sea and all). If not a donkey then at least a horse.
Some exciting things that have happened in my world recently:
1. I have only 1 long run to go before my marathon training is complete. Bring it on - 20 miles on Friday, here we go.
2. There are Pheasants everywhere, and they are so stupid. It's no wonder there are dead versions lying around everywhere. I felt slightly bad for one which was lying upturned in a hedge with its little legs akimbo - clearly it had bounced off someone's bonnet!
3. London people have been to visit! And how great it has been to catch up with members of the English Touring Opera cast and band and also with Cat and her family.
4. Speaking of English Touring Opera - how brilliant it is to go to the opera, sit 5 rows from the front and pay only £20 per ticket. Who needs Covent Garden?
5. My BlackBerry. Means I can work from the beach. Which means that life is sweet.
6. It is the Easter hols. So suddenly there are people everywhere. Polzeath was rammed with sloaney types yesterday wearing various nautical themed items of clothing and discussing how often they let out their big houses when they're not here. Mustn't slag off the Emmits though. I was one once (not one with a big house though).
Off to church in a mo. I'm hoping very much for a donkey (as we;re by the sea and all). If not a donkey then at least a horse.
Monday, 16 March 2009
Trendspotting
Having had some positive feedback following my recent post, I thought I would keep up the efforts and write something to fill the gap between now and Nick returning home and us eating dinner, which incidentally, I'm tres excited about as it's from M&S simply food and we don't often get M&S treats down here in the Toe.
It's been a most satisfying couple of days. Tank and I have clocked up the miles, journeying to Swindon via Tidworth where last night I enjoyed a rather lovely meal with the Charnocks. Shout out to the Charnocks for their (always) fabulous hospitality.
Today was spent in Swindon at head office. I have decided to rename my team the Fashion Police following a series of interesting discussions about work wear and the perils of getting it oh so wrong. I am, incidentally, always getting it oh so wrong and have been doing so from the beginning when I got a bollocking in the first three months of my first proper job for wearing a too short skirt. In fact, I got a similar rollocking in my last job so let's face it, it's only a matter of time before I make a similar fashion faux pas.
There are various tribes of style at my new workplace. At my usual place of work the theme is either smart (trousers, skirts, sometimes a colourful scarf, sensible leather boots cos you never know when you're going to have to trudge through a pile of mud) or 'country', a look which is not possible without a corporate branded gilet or sweatshirt or both depending on whether or not the radiator in your office is broken.
Head office is another matter however. Most people go for the similar smart casual look (which is slightly more Boden than at regional level), though there are also tribes of tweed, cool looking skinny girls with colourful tunic dresses, leggings and ballet pumps (God knows why they're not working for some super cool media type company in London) and the odd, well shall we say 'individual' who sticks out like Lady GaGa might at the Cameltoe and District WI meeting. Clearly, these people do not know who they are.
So, a useful and educating day. I will continue to not quite fit in in my uniform of converse, smart (ish) trousers and layered t shirts (clearly my days working for Gap have made their mark) and will live in the knowledge that, rather than trying to change my outfits to fit in, I will gladly accept that the next time I choose to wear a very short skirt (yes, there will be a time), I will get monumentally told off. I will of course always check in with the fashion police first. Occasionally, a short skirt is a useful and not to be ignored fundraising tool.
On a completely unrelated topic, a drove past a place called 'Hurden' the other night. Only a matter of time methinks before the Bodmin Moor graffitti genius kicks in...
It's been a most satisfying couple of days. Tank and I have clocked up the miles, journeying to Swindon via Tidworth where last night I enjoyed a rather lovely meal with the Charnocks. Shout out to the Charnocks for their (always) fabulous hospitality.
Today was spent in Swindon at head office. I have decided to rename my team the Fashion Police following a series of interesting discussions about work wear and the perils of getting it oh so wrong. I am, incidentally, always getting it oh so wrong and have been doing so from the beginning when I got a bollocking in the first three months of my first proper job for wearing a too short skirt. In fact, I got a similar rollocking in my last job so let's face it, it's only a matter of time before I make a similar fashion faux pas.
There are various tribes of style at my new workplace. At my usual place of work the theme is either smart (trousers, skirts, sometimes a colourful scarf, sensible leather boots cos you never know when you're going to have to trudge through a pile of mud) or 'country', a look which is not possible without a corporate branded gilet or sweatshirt or both depending on whether or not the radiator in your office is broken.
Head office is another matter however. Most people go for the similar smart casual look (which is slightly more Boden than at regional level), though there are also tribes of tweed, cool looking skinny girls with colourful tunic dresses, leggings and ballet pumps (God knows why they're not working for some super cool media type company in London) and the odd, well shall we say 'individual' who sticks out like Lady GaGa might at the Cameltoe and District WI meeting. Clearly, these people do not know who they are.
So, a useful and educating day. I will continue to not quite fit in in my uniform of converse, smart (ish) trousers and layered t shirts (clearly my days working for Gap have made their mark) and will live in the knowledge that, rather than trying to change my outfits to fit in, I will gladly accept that the next time I choose to wear a very short skirt (yes, there will be a time), I will get monumentally told off. I will of course always check in with the fashion police first. Occasionally, a short skirt is a useful and not to be ignored fundraising tool.
On a completely unrelated topic, a drove past a place called 'Hurden' the other night. Only a matter of time methinks before the Bodmin Moor graffitti genius kicks in...
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Gimps anyone?
How time flies in Cameltoe. Last time I blogged it was snowing and leaving work at 5.30 involved a spooky pitch black drive over Bodmin Moor. Now the sun is shining, the daffs are out and I'm desperately trying to resist giving my credit card a good work out in the shops (all those gorgeous summer clothes, what girl can resist?). Instead, I'm trying to focus on giving myself a good work out oncce in a while, bearing in mind that the London Marathon is only 6 weeks away.
Enough of that though, you've all heard me bang on about the London Marathon before so I won't bore you with it now.
I think my favourite recent occurence here is that some comedy genius has cleverly changed the town sign so that it now reads 'Cameltoe'. An avid reader maybe? It may be the same person who changed 'Helland' into 'Bellend' a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps they are working their way through all Cornish place names trying to see what hilarious rude alternatives they can come up with. Any suggestions for the following welcome cos I can't think of any - Boscastle, Bodmin, Delabole, Padstow.
Of course there are some names which don't need alteration and which I believe to be pretty amusing anyway. Favourites include Tresuck, Pencuke (puke) and one which nearly made me crash the car the other day 'Ventongimps'. WTF???? who came up with that?
Enough of that though, you've all heard me bang on about the London Marathon before so I won't bore you with it now.
I think my favourite recent occurence here is that some comedy genius has cleverly changed the town sign so that it now reads 'Cameltoe'. An avid reader maybe? It may be the same person who changed 'Helland' into 'Bellend' a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps they are working their way through all Cornish place names trying to see what hilarious rude alternatives they can come up with. Any suggestions for the following welcome cos I can't think of any - Boscastle, Bodmin, Delabole, Padstow.
Of course there are some names which don't need alteration and which I believe to be pretty amusing anyway. Favourites include Tresuck, Pencuke (puke) and one which nearly made me crash the car the other day 'Ventongimps'. WTF???? who came up with that?
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
It's a wonderful life
Oh what a fabulous couple of days I have had. I feel I may burst out of my Cameltoe-inducing leggings at any moment through sheer excitement.
Anyone who doesn't want to hear about how great my life is should re-direct their browser now (Facebook anyone?).
So after a fabulous weekend with lots of family and friend action, my current excitement is professionally rooted following a super brilliant couple of days at work. In fact, I'm loving my job so much I'm thinking of freezing my eggs so I can keep on for years and years raising pots of cash and being uber successful (oh the things we career girls have to worry about).*
As part of my role as a fundraiser, it is important to know what it is I'm fundraising for. I need to get out and experience what it is that motivates people to part with their hard earned cash. So that's what 've been doing, getting out and about.
In the last couple of days, Tank and I have been to a farm near Land's End, the seafront at St Ives (ok, this wasn't strictly work but it was lunchtime and I had a serious batter craving), a tudor mansion and a big blingy castle slap bang in the middle of Dartmoor.
CAN YOU BELIEVE I GET PAID FOR THIS???
The next couple of days may be a little less exciting. Consolidating all of the exciting information currently in my brain into actual projects/workplans/strategies in the office. I would be depressed about this were it not for the fact that I live in Cornwall and that my office is in a rather stunning location. And yes, it's still all a huge novelty.
*Disclaimer - Britney goes west occasionally likes to exaggerate for dramatic effect in a hyperbolic fashion. Please do not take her more controversial comments seriously/hold them against her/get all offended. She'll probably feel different tomorrow!
Anyone who doesn't want to hear about how great my life is should re-direct their browser now (Facebook anyone?).
So after a fabulous weekend with lots of family and friend action, my current excitement is professionally rooted following a super brilliant couple of days at work. In fact, I'm loving my job so much I'm thinking of freezing my eggs so I can keep on for years and years raising pots of cash and being uber successful (oh the things we career girls have to worry about).*
As part of my role as a fundraiser, it is important to know what it is I'm fundraising for. I need to get out and experience what it is that motivates people to part with their hard earned cash. So that's what 've been doing, getting out and about.
In the last couple of days, Tank and I have been to a farm near Land's End, the seafront at St Ives (ok, this wasn't strictly work but it was lunchtime and I had a serious batter craving), a tudor mansion and a big blingy castle slap bang in the middle of Dartmoor.
CAN YOU BELIEVE I GET PAID FOR THIS???
The next couple of days may be a little less exciting. Consolidating all of the exciting information currently in my brain into actual projects/workplans/strategies in the office. I would be depressed about this were it not for the fact that I live in Cornwall and that my office is in a rather stunning location. And yes, it's still all a huge novelty.
*Disclaimer - Britney goes west occasionally likes to exaggerate for dramatic effect in a hyperbolic fashion. Please do not take her more controversial comments seriously/hold them against her/get all offended. She'll probably feel different tomorrow!
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Back to earth with a bump.
Well hello and happy Burns night to one and all! I would say happy new year but I'm a bit late. Anyway, I'm feeling awfully Scottish following a fabulous honeymoon on the Isle of Skye with my brand spanking new husband (oooh I like that word). What a wonderful start to the year, the most fabulous wedding followed by two weeks of lounging, eating crazy Scottish meat products (Stornoway Black pudding my new favourite food), walking and other erm stimulating activities which shall not be dicussed on my blog.
Slight problem on returning to sunny Cornwall is that I weigh about four stone heavier (due to the three course breakfasts and five course dinners at Kinloch Lodge and the aforementioned meat products, mmmm Haggis) and the London Marathon is 3 MONTHS TOMORROW. I can run a total of six miles. Shit. That's the 'bump' in the title - I'm not pregnant by the way.
So yesterday, I bought some new trainers and some stretchy Beale-inspired pants for motivation. I have also been doing some very effective cross training (the technical term for some kind of exercise other than running) - namely a half hour bike ride and half an hour riding a bloody big mare. Oh yeah - Lollypop was on form today, she knows when I'm losing concentration cos she takes the opportunity to zoom across to the other side of the school and smell her friend's bottom. Charming.
Gem from church this morning. The reading featured a character called 'Ananius'. This is the reason why I refuse to read in church - I would never be able to pronounce all the weird names correctly. Sadly, neither could the reader this morning (completely understandably I add - just in case he is reading). We had 'An anus' several times and once, Ananius was shortened simply to 'Anus'. Genius.
Slight problem on returning to sunny Cornwall is that I weigh about four stone heavier (due to the three course breakfasts and five course dinners at Kinloch Lodge and the aforementioned meat products, mmmm Haggis) and the London Marathon is 3 MONTHS TOMORROW. I can run a total of six miles. Shit. That's the 'bump' in the title - I'm not pregnant by the way.
So yesterday, I bought some new trainers and some stretchy Beale-inspired pants for motivation. I have also been doing some very effective cross training (the technical term for some kind of exercise other than running) - namely a half hour bike ride and half an hour riding a bloody big mare. Oh yeah - Lollypop was on form today, she knows when I'm losing concentration cos she takes the opportunity to zoom across to the other side of the school and smell her friend's bottom. Charming.
Gem from church this morning. The reading featured a character called 'Ananius'. This is the reason why I refuse to read in church - I would never be able to pronounce all the weird names correctly. Sadly, neither could the reader this morning (completely understandably I add - just in case he is reading). We had 'An anus' several times and once, Ananius was shortened simply to 'Anus'. Genius.
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